Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Health Weirdness

*News Flash*
I am allergic to one of the three new meds I was prescribed... itchiness all over. The new wonderful task is to figure out just which one it is! I love trial and error with pharmaceuticals! The good realization is that I haven't had a minor illness in a while... you know, the colds and flus, and digestive stuff I'd get at least once in October (usually twice), again in December, again in February, and again in May. (Not to say that won't pick up again... I think I've moved out of the little league and am now playing in the minors... not something I'm proud of, just a thought).

As a side note, I'm trying to grapple with how to appropriately celebrate the upcoming holiday. I've never been on for religious Pomp and Circumstance. Ritual's not my thing. I'm more into having a certain moral standard and trying my hardest to live by it rather than practicing special rites. But, having said that, it's been a while since I've formally observed a major holiday, and I it may be good for me to connect a little more. Hmmmm. I may have to think more on this one.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy Birthday, Belated

Happy 1st birthday to my Blog!! (um... two days ago anyway) So lots has happened... lots of bitching... lots of silliness... 1 official follower, but I'm married to him. Well... Here's to another year!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Only For Now...

Today's been pretty crappy, and the worst part is that due to my supervisory duties, I can't even talk about it with some of the people I care about most. Even more so, I should probably be taking more of a high road and "modeling" really excellent coping strategies and professionalism, so starting tomorrow I will. "Parallel Process" Jen!

So Being a Supervisor Sucks! (not totally because I really like the job and being able to make some really good changes). This whole not being able to talk about things is really hard, and I'm actually really, really, really afraid I'll let something slip and get myself fired. (I was the kid who couldn't keep a secret: birthday presents, Christmas, whatever... still working on it) I'm way too open, and I'm just not close with the other supervisors yet. That's why they were always in their little club... they can't properly vent to anyone else.

Well, anyway. Tomorrow is a new day! I will awake with a good attitude about the changes about to happen. I be a friggin beacon of positivity. I will not let this person effect me anymore or bring down the mood of my team. We will be strong. We will survive. And we will outlast. (woah... channeling Bill Pullman from Independence Day for a second).

I think my new mantra will come from Avenue Q. The final song is very eastern philosophy. "Only For Now" is about how everything in life is only temporary... the suckiness as well as the good stuff, and it's words to live by. It helps you get through the tough times and helps you to appreciate the good times, because neither last forever.

"And we'll accept the things we cannot avoid, for now."
"But Only for Now!"

Monday, December 8, 2008

Stupid-Watch 2009

So tonight I my bestest long-time friend in the world came for a quick visit. I had been wanting to talk with her about my new meds because she has been taking medication for seizures for a long time and I thought she might be familiar with them. One she'd never heard of. The other she had. It was Great! All of the good medicinal uses, craving weird things like pickle water, plus she lost like 20 pounds in two weeks... oh.. except she had to stop taking it because it makes you stupid. Apparently it can cause cognitive deficits and she was in law school at the time and needed to think... but she fully intends to return to the wonderful med once she doesn't need to think anymore. She said she made good grades before the med, while on it she thought she was fully making sense, but apparently wasn't anymore.

So I need everyone's help. I may not realize I'm getting stupider (hmmmm.... is using the word stupider a symptom of stupidity?) so watch out for me and *gently* let me know!

Friday, December 5, 2008


Well, It's been an interesting few days and I 'm just now feeling up to really writing anything about it. So the spinal tap was more weird-feeling than painful. Sure, there were a few moments of pain, but not the worst I've experienced. I think the worst part was the anticipation of pain, and wincing when I felt something weird, like the needle scraping against bone (I think) which actually didn't hurt. Once the needle was placed, I had to lay there a while because the fluid only dripped out. After it was over, I had to lie there some more until I was okay to walk down to the lab to have some blood drawn... insult to injury. Then I went home. For the next 24 hours, my head would begin to hurt if I sat up, but the wonderful thing was my head didn't hurt if I remained horizontal. The tap relieved the pressure enough to help with my headaches, temporarily.
So by last night, I could move around without anything hurting, hooray! But I had started my new meds, one of which causes dizziness, at least for the first few days. I would have gone to work this morning if not for that, but it's a good thing I didn't. By noon, my spinal pressure was back with a vengeance. I started my second med today which should really help with that pain. Hopefully I'll be right as rain by Monday.
I'll be on those two meds plus a diuretic for 3-6 months, getting checked by my doctors to see if the swelling goes down. Chances are, I'll hear on Monday that my lab work was fine and that what I do have is Pseudo-Tumor.
I do want to thank all of my friends who have been so caring and supportive. Everyone's been great to me and I appreciate it.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

This is Spinal Tap

Like the band... sucked but not completely horrible. So... my cerebral-spinal pressure was 30, normal is below 20. After the tap, it was 17 (but it will build back up again). The fluid was clear, which is good. I should know something by Monday. I have meds that should help... for the cost the meds should do my laundry too, and then I think I just follow up with the retina specialist until my optic nerve stops being all wiley. I've got some soreness, but I think I'll be alright.

Good night, Bax out.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


So I saw my neurologist today... and I swear specialist doctors are so blazè if you aren't dying. Oh well, it would have freaked me out if he would have freaked out. So basically he confirmed what we already know...
1) Jen has intracranial pressure
2) Jen does not have a tumor
3) Jen needs a spinal tap
So I go back tomorrow at 1pm for the lumbar puncture. I'm a little nervous, but I expect it will be sort-of like my epidurals: how painful, or pain-free, it is depends on the skill of the one doing it. So I hope this old guy has some wicked-awesome skillz.

Stay tuned!