I need a moment to vent

OK... so I understand Julius is 12, and it is quite possible that 6th graders are the most obnoxious people in the whole world, but I may have to put him in a hole until he is 25 and a respectable person again. I love him... he is so funny and smart... he's really cool to talk to... I love him...but damn! So he has started on a new "I don't want to live here anymore" and "I want to go live with dad" and doing the boundary testing thing I thought was over when he was 3. I know my goal is to make an independent person out of him, but when he does this 'you can't make me' thing it drives me nuts! What makes it worse, I think, is that it's Elvin's expressions and attitudes coming out of him. Not only does it push the very same buttons that Elvin used to infuriate me, it scares the hell out of me that Julius might grow up to be too much like him. In all fairness, I realize this is my mother's revenge. I remember telling her that I wanted to live with my father... but with me it wasn't so realistic because my dad's been practically AWOL since I was a toddler. And, I know this is directly related to him getting into trouble for getting grounded for getting kicked out of band. So, I probably shouldn't wig out and imagine a horrible future for a kid that doesn't learn impulse control and respect for authority. Breathe deeply, Jen... It's going to be a bumpy decade.